Picture this.. even though I feel like hell I am being good, getting extra exercise by walking the dogs to the Co-op. Grabbing my bag of groceries and thankfully turning towards home.
I let the dogs off lead on the river path for a free run and just before we get to the turn up to the road – Toastie goes AWOL. My cries to no avail, I perch on a bench to gather myself and wait out the surge of pointless anger I feel towards the dog and discover my nose is bleeding – and not just a little bit, and I have no cloth, no hanky, just my scarf which I very sadly use.
And then there was the farcical effort to attach Charlie to the lead, find Toastie and attach her as well, all the while trying to hold my scarf to my face whilst carrying a bag of groceries with Toastie lunging at invisible squirrels and Charlie shying from the swinging bag and wrapping himself around my legs.
This evening a nearly full moon rides serenely in the sky with a pale, petrol slick coloured halo glowing as the slow clouds pass.
I’m feeling pretty serene as well which I am curious about.. Most of the day has been spent in tired despair, brain fogged and irritated at myself, continuously forgetting what it was I was about to do, dropping things, knocking things over, snagging my clothes, dribbling my scarf in the washing up, remembering just what an utter arse of a person I am then getting cross for calling myself names – and generally getting in my own way, and then suddenly, about four in the afternoon, and for no earthly reason that I can think of, I find I am completely and utterly fine..
I watch myself in wonder as with returned energy I walk Toastie and Charlie through the grave yard, calmly spending time reading the grave stones and allowing the dogs to sniff to their hearts content. I feed my friends cats, stopping to sit and talk to them and stroke their lovely fur. I sort the recycling and actually don’t hate doing it. I think of something for tea without effort and cook it well, sausages and onion gravy, potato and swede mashed with warm milk, garlic butter and loads of parsley, steamed carrots and brussels sprouts. And then I eat it at the table, enjoying that I have made myself good food, appreciating it, thinking that Mr T will enjoy it too when he gets home from his chess club later tonight.
And then I step outside and watch the moon and think it may be the most beautiful thing I have seen in my life.
As soon as I come out and have a small rant about something I don’t want to do, I do the thing and enjoy it. It’s maddening really. (please see previous post)
I totally loved going to the pub quiz with my cousin Toni, who I hardly ever get to see. I totally loved being with our tiny team of six friends. I kind of enjoyed winning a box of chocolates for ‘Last Man Standing’, even though I really didn’t like being the last person standing in a pub full.
And we came a respectable fourth even after I completely cocked up by writing our answers on the wrong game page and therefore losing us 7 points.
I totally loved that my team mates didn’t kill me for that..
So now it’s all over and I have another wonderful day of making things and the joy of Mr T coming home for a couple of nights..
It’s been quiet on the blog this past week because I caught a ride down to Stokes Valley with a friend to go and spend some time with my Mum. Ma is 88 and in need of some company as well as help around the house and with life in general. I usually stay every second week with her and Mr T stays with her during the week as he works not far away in Wellington. In fact Mum is the main reason we came to live back in New Zealand last year and we are really glad we did.
The way we live is working out pretty well at the moment. I still struggle with the Black Slug depression and appreciate the week when I am in my own home and can hibernate with Toastie if I need to, or get some craft done if I have the energy and concentration. If I am still not feeling too good when I go down to Ma’s it’s ok because Ma is not a huge bundle of energy now either and we can sit and talk while I crochet and she knits and we watch silly comedies on T.V. together – or murder mysteries..
Last week I was most proud of myself because I finished two jobs that I have been meaning to do for years. Just before we went to live in the U.K. four years ago, my friend Vicky gave me an unusual old sewing basket. I loved it very much, especially because it was made from harakeke or New Zealand flax. This basket was woven in strips and sewn together with red thread.
Unfortunately most of the thread holding the wooden bottom on had come adrift as had one corner of the lid. Last Monday night I had a sudden rush of blood to the head and mended it.. Finally after four years..
The other project I finished the same night was from the Alabama Chanin Stitch book – The Over-the-Arm Pin Cushion which I started two years ago. I am over the moon to have finished it and be using it. Even my Mum liked it and now I am making one for her for Mothers Day next weekend.
My other creation of the last fortnight was already mostly made for me. My friend Donna had given me an old, crocheted, stained glass, granny square lap blanket that was falling apart. In fact she gave it to me in bits as she had neither the time or energy to deal with it. I didn’t fancy a lap blanket and seeing that one of the pieces was scarf length and a decent width I thought a better use would be to fix the shredding seams, stitch a single crochet border around it and add a loopy chain edging on each end. Job done and I have a new, rather cheerful, favourite scarf.
Ma’s feijoa trees are overflowing at the moment – it seems to have been a bumper year for the fruit. She has to rake them up every day and there are way more than any of us needed or wanted to preserve so we came up with this idea so as not to waste them..
They didn’t take long to go.
So that was some of my week – I hope you all had a good one.
Today is grey and cold, a suitable day to mourn what proved to be a lovely, long weekend. I am not feeling so great today so here is a selection of photos to take the place of brain draining writing.
Sunday – Henley Lake
More Watery Stick please!
Then home to prepare and slow cook a Beef Bourguignon, hearty Autumnal fare for sure.
The coast road out to Cape Palliser, about an hour and a half from where we live. Seals and shags and sun. Picnic on the beach with inquisitive Bumble Bees. Hot, metallic, autumn sun. Wrecked crayfish carapaces, flat, warm, grey stone and tiny baby paua.
So clear you can see the South Island – The Kaikoura Coast with snow on the mountains. Time to start the long road home as the shadows lengthened and the air began to cool. Second night of Beef Bourguignon – always tastes better for sitting, with carrot and swede mash. Tired Toasty and tired humans, these holidays sure take it out of you.
Sorry to anyone who tried to access my blog in the last couple of days and found it password protected. I did have a little wobble and thought I might like to do away with this blog, but I have centered myself now and the normal programme of not posting much has been resumed.
All is well here at present, we are snowless once again, although there is always the possibility – winter is clenching and hanging on.
I am learning to knit an actual garment (as opposed to scarves), with shaping and everything and it is a &%&@%£$@£$$££^%$&^*&^*&*&$$££@£@£@£ bitch.. I screwed it up so badly last week that I have been unable to do anything with it, until last night’s Stitch and Bitch when my lovely friend Thursday sorted it out for me – I love Thursday.
I am overloaded with reading material having found several wonderful authors recently Hilary Mantel, Katherine Swift (many thanks to BoxofMisc you are a treasure) and Billy Letts, as well as a new interest in Mass Observation diaries and the diary of our local hero/weirdo Victorian curate Francis Kilvert, whose writings I find alternately, beautiful, lyrical, horrifying, tragic and amusing and sometimes several of those at once. Reading Kilvert also reminds me just how very, very lucky I am to be living here in this time.
In addition to books, I am reading other people’s blogs and have resolved to make a effort to leave a comment every time I do – even if it’s just a smiley or a frowney or whatever – just to let them know that I have been there, heard them and tip my hat. A sort of a small payment, if you will, for their efforts.
I would really appreciate it if you would do the same for me, I’d love to know that you have been by.
I am doing a mile for Sport Relief (I promise not to spend the entire time in Kilvert’s 😉 ) If you should feel like sponsoring me for getting off my fat arse and actually doing something for a change you can do so by visiting here. https://my.sportrelief.com/sponsor/roslynbrodie