So many thanks to you Katy for saying so well what I wanted to say – you are wonderful and fierce.

Katyboo1's Weblog

I rarely write blog posts about the news or politics any more. It’s not that I’ve stopped caring. I have found in recent months, with being ill, that I care too much, that I simply cannot get past the overwhelming tragedy of this fucked up world to write anything much that makes sense.

What I really feel, most of the time, is a huge, anguished howl inside me if I engage with the news for more than a few moments at a time. I feel like if I start writing/talking about it all, I just won’t be able to stop, there is so much that is wrong and ugly about the world my children are inheriting and it is painful, truly painful to think about it for too long.

Today though, I feel I must say something about this outpouring by women in light of the Weinstein and parliamentary news…

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So what can I say about today?

It’s been one of those..

Picture this.. even though I feel like hell I am being good, getting extra exercise by walking the dogs to the Co-op. Grabbing my bag of groceries and thankfully turning towards home.

I let the dogs off lead on the river path for a free run and just before we get to the turn up to the road – Toastie goes AWOL.  My cries to no avail, I perch on a bench to gather myself and wait out the surge of pointless anger I feel towards the dog and discover my nose is bleeding – and not just a little bit, and I have no cloth, no hanky, just my scarf which I very sadly use.

And then there was the farcical effort to attach Charlie to the lead, find Toastie and attach her as well, all the while trying to hold my scarf to my face whilst carrying a bag of groceries with Toastie lunging at invisible squirrels and Charlie shying from the swinging bag and wrapping himself around my legs.

Yes that sort of day..

I can laugh about it now.

Crunchy Leaves..

I have unearthed my favourite green, woolen cardigan and today for the first time in many months I have worn it and the poncho and beret I made last year.  There is something about these much loved garments that brings comfort – like old friends you haven’t seen for a while.  And I love that it is cold enough to meet them again.

It is autumn – just over a year since we travelled back from New Zealand, and I found myself appreciating all over again how stonkingly gorgeous the changing countryside is, even though everything is withering and dying – it does it so beautifully.

This is my favourite time of the year without a doubt and I suspect that is partly because the introvert part of me likes the excuse to hide out, cwcth up ( a welsh cuddle) and hibernate.  But also – I like the way the air feels when we are out walking, the crisp, clearness of it.  The colder weather makes me feel more alert, almost as if there is a hint of danger,  perhaps it is an ancient memory stirring – beware the cold and dark are coming.

I have to be firm with myself not to rustle up memories of childhood ghost stories when I walk the dogs in the graveyard in the gloaming, in order not to give myself the creeps..

I love the changing colours of the plants, the bright glossiness of the berries, the activity of the animals and insects as they rush to fatten themselves and to store food for the coming months.

Toastie has gone squirrel mad lately as the little, furry blighters spend as much time as possible hunting for food, often down on the ground.  To our scruffy terrier, squirrels are  fair game as well as very annoying, the way they sit up on their branches making harsh cawing noises at her and giving her the furry finger, so she rushes up and down the woodland river banks peering up in the trees with not a hope in hell of catching anything.